I want to know.

I just want to know why you have to come in and out of my life. If you're going to stay, then stay. If you're going to leave, then leave. Stop coming in and out.  My life is not a fast food resturant. I'm not here for you to get something fast and leave, then come again when you need something and leave once again. At least let me feel like we're worth being friends cuz right now I feel like a "temporary" friend. If you keep doing this, then it's my turn to leave and I ain't turning back. So pick your answer: leave or stay?

KIM K! (:

14. Something disgusting you do

Disgusting? Uhh..I don't know. I pick at my dry skin? Is that considered nasty or disgusting? HAHA Well, I can't really think of it much.

13. A date you would love to go on

I don't want a typical lunch and movies kind of date. I would want my date to be at an amusement park, particularly Six Flags. HAHA! (: There's my date, plain and simple.

12. Things you want to say to an ex

Hi, how are you?

Spring break!!!

Dear You,

Just think that not everything I say to you is true. Why? I would like to know myself. I don't know why I always seem to put up this fake front to you. I guess it's just for you. You make me lie too much. I need to stop but nonetheless thanks for stopping by!

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^_^V

LOVE this compliment (:

11. Your current relationship, if single discuss how single life is

SINGLE and lovin' it! (:

10. Your views on drugs and alcohol

I think I remember writing a post on this so I'm not going to type another. I'll link you guys, but short story short: everyone has their own preference as long as it isn't excessive then it's fine.

http://aznsweetie15.blogspot.com/2010/10/3-your-views-on-drugs-and-alcohol.html

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9. Your last kiss

Hmmm...what about my last kiss? I don't kiss and tell. (;

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Is it weird?

Is it weird to think about you? Is it weird that my heart melts a little bit more each time you pop up in my mind? Is it weird that I hardly know you, yet I have a bit of feelings for you? I think so. Okei I'm just going to stop right here before I go farther.

Be careful

"So he texts you good morning that’s cute.  He lets you know when he gets off work? quite sweet. He calls you goodnight? wow you must feel special.  Your phone vibrates and you get an I miss you in the middle of the day, how thoughtful. Its almost like a daily routine huh?  I bet you’re starting to fall, so let me ask you this: are you sure you’re the only one? You have to realize that not everyone takes everything the same way. Something to you might mean nothing to someone else. Why you always end up getting hurt? because you assume things, you come up with these he doesn’t have to say it its obviously there bullshit for yourself and end up leading yourself on and then what, you get mad at him when you catch him talking to someone else? Did he ever say you guys were something? If not well then there you go.
Some people just like to flirt, they’re not necessarily trying to get anywhere, unless they tell you you’re going somewhere don’t take yourself there because you’ll end up losing yourself on your way there trying to figure out mixed directions."

I can't reblog Tumblr posts so I'll just link you guys.
http://jeremii.tumblr.com/post/2694418544/so-he-texts-you-good-morning-thats-cute-he-lets
Anyways, yeah seriously that's what happened, but I'm glad I was able to pick myself up before I fell too quickly. But I knew in the back of my mind that it wasn't going to be what I want it to be cuz if there's one, there's going to be two or three or four. Which there was. LOL!

8. Something you’re currently worrying about

My future. I'm scared of what it will turn into because I'm not exceptionally smart or anything. I am barely getting through in my classes. I don't feel like I'm learning anything so how would I be "successful" in the future? I don't know. I'm scared to know.

7. Your opinion on cheating on people

"Once a cheater, always a cheater."

Enough said right? I don't believe in giving second chances unless there's a really good reason behind it. Most of the time there isn't though.

6. The person you like and why you like them

No one. Nada. I'm serious. LOL! I've had crushes here and there, but the last time I liked someone was last year before the summer. Don't ask why I liked him cuz I don't know either. :/

5. 5 things that irritate you about the sex/same sex

Opposite sex!

1. conceited/cocky
2. Leg shakers!!!! UGH
3. Reply with one word texts.
4. Leaves you hanging when texting esp when you guys are trying to know each other.
5. This might be weird, but when their nails are long (and dirty)!

4. What you wear to bed

My pjs: sweatshirt & sweatpants
Socks if it's cold

Just my luck...

He wasn't exceptionally cute, but was still cute. He wasn't really tall, just the same height as me. He had a good personality. He had goals and ambitions. He wasn't very smart, but he's smart enough to pass his classes. He was outgoing and knew his priorities. We got along so well. Lastly, he was gay. Now...what am I going to do?!? I am lucky  -.-"

What a DISAPPOINTMENT!

Do you know what's a disappointment? You meet a cute guy, but to find out he was gay! ):

3. What kind of person attracts you

Once and foremost a boy! And not just any boy, though. LOL! Sometimes I think about it, the guys that have attracted me in the past was more because of their looks. I admit I can be for looks > personality, but I think the personality is what gets you at the end. So regardless, let's start off with the looks that I like. The most obvious is tall! I don't like guys who are shorter than me or even at the same height as me. But there were once or twice where I was attracted to short guys. D: HAHA I like guys that are dark. Also, I want some meat on my man. I don't want those skinny wimpy looking guys cuz if I were to hug him, he wouldn't even be able to block the cold for me or to keep me warm. A little bit of guns is pretty darn sexy. Some tattoos on him is like a cherry on top. LOL! I guess you can say that it's a bit of a cliche to say: tall, dark, and handsome. That's the definition of Taylor Lautner. ROFL! But you have to agree that he's pretty darn cute. By the way, I have this thing for Filipino guys. (:

Anyways, as for the personality it's really not too much. The usual: loyal, honest, truthful, understanding is really enough. But since, I'm a girl that needs some reassurance once in awhile, that'd be nice to have after all the lies I've heard. I'm sure a lot of girls out there has fell for jerks and you guys should know how that went right? Well, I'm sure there's someone out there that's considered the "nice" guy to every girl. Like what people say "nice guys come in at the end." So nonetheless I want a true gentleman who knows how to treat their lady. Nothing fancy like pay for everything, buy me things, take me out to fancy restaurants, etc. I just want the things over the big splurging money things. Honestly, if I really like you, the small things would make me really happy and excited. For example, a small note/letter would make me smile for days or cook with me would just make my day. Things like that small and simple would make me satisfied. It doesn't take a lot of effort or money. Sadly, I have yet to meet someone like this. I am willingly to sit here patiently for this guy to come along (even though I am a super duper impatient girl).

Regardless, I think I've liked a big variety of guys personality-wise. However, all the guys that I've liked are Asians.

HELLO KITTY!

2. How have you changed in the past 2 years?

Hmm...let's see, I learned who my true friends were. I learned to never trust people so easily. Best friends don't exist anymore. I know some people still believe in it but not me anymore. It sucks cause it's so hard to trust people. Well lastly, I learned that some people will always hate no matter what. Most importantly though, is learning to have self confidence and love yourself even if no one else does. (:

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"Are you gay?"

I don't know if anyone has ever encountered such a problem like this: So you meet someone, and he seems pretty cool and stuff, but in the back of your mind you have a burning question...is he gay? Well, so I've actually came across this a couple of times. No joke. I feel like it's actually offensive to ask a straight guy "are you gay?" Don't you think so? I don't know maybe it's just me then. So anyways, I met this guy that I guess you can call him a friend or maybe aquaintance? I don't know, I'll consider him a friend cuz he seem pretty darn nice. He's always the first person that smiles at me every morning. LOL! Anyways, so I don't know what it is about him that makes me think that he's not so straight. So I was just looking at his tumbr that had "ex-gf" and "I miss him." So the next thing I came up with is he's bi. I don't have anything against gays or bis or anything of that sort. In fact, I support it strongly because I have a few gay friends and they're awesome. HAHA! Honestly, I'm just a pussy to ask him staight up, but curiosity kills the cat. Help? LOL I don't think I'm interested in him right? O.o

WORD!!!

Just because someone flirts with you, doesn’t mean they like you.
Just because someone likes you, doesn’t mean they want to date you.
Just because someone dates you, doesn’t mean they love you.
Just because someone loves you, doesn’t mean they won’t hurt you.

1. Weird things you do when you’re alone

1. Sing loudly to my playlist even if I don't know the lyrics, I go la la la. (:
2. Skip around.
3. Eat everything with my fingers. LOL!
4. Pick my nose.
5. Talk to myself.

How cuteee

30 random things challenge.

1.   Weird things you do when you’re alone

2.    How have you changed in the past 2 years?

3.    What kind of person attracts you

4.    What you wear to bed

5.    5 things that irritate you about the sex/same sex

6.    The person you like and why you like them 

7.    Your opinion on cheating on people

8.    Something you’re currently worrying about

9.    Your last kiss

10.  Your views on drugs and alcohol

11.  Your current relationship, if single discuss how single life is

12.  Things you want to say to an ex

13.  A date you would love to go on

14.  Something disgusting you do

15.  The best thing to happen to you this week

16.  3 things you are proud of about your personality

17.  Things that make you scared

18.  Disrespecting parents

19.  Something that never fails to make you feel better

20.  The last argument you had

21.  Something you can’t seem to get over

22.  10 things about you people don’t really expect

23.  Something you always think “what if..” about

24.  Things you want to say to 5 different people

25.  10 ways to win your heart

26.  Your religious beliefs

27.  Talk about your siblings

28.  The month you were happiest this year and why

29.  A picture of yourself

30.  What changed this month and what you hope will happen next month

Trust issues.

After seeing people get hurt, and myself being in a vulnerable position, I'm seriously lacking a lot of trust. I really don't trust anyone at all. It's hard cuz knowing that there were people in the past that were your BFFs for one second can turn around and betray you the next second. I have to admit I do have trust issues. Even when it comes to relationships, I can't trust guys. It's the whole I-don't-know-if-what-you're-saying-means-what-you're-thinking kinda thing. Sometimes, I honestly feel bad especially when people would tell me that they trust me, but I have this wall in between where it gives me doubts and puts myself in a position where I am wary of what they say. When guys tell me "trust me" it gives me the benefit of the doubt to not believe them. Why? It's very simple. Words cannot mean anything. I need someone to show me what trust is. Just by saying something doesn't make it easier to trust someone. Sometimes, I let my guard down so easily that at the end of the day, I'm the one getting hurt. I don't want that. That's why this 'wall' gets thicker and thicker each time.

I hate putting myself in a position where I've associated with someone for awhile and we can talk about anything and do things together, but I'm unable to be like "we're best friends." Although, some people consider me as their best friends, I can't make myself to agree with them because I feel like as soon as I say it, then things aren't going to be the same and I end up getting hurt. When someone asks if me and so & so are best friends, I don't know how to answer especially when the person is right next to me. I don't want to lie and be like 'yeah of course we're best friends," but at the same time I don't want to say no either because that will definitely hurt the other's feelings. I put myself in such a bad position that all I can do is change the subject or whatever I can to avoid such question.

By avoiding the question doesn't mean I don't value one person's friendship. I definitely take it to heart and I care about the person. It's just that maybe I was cursed with the word "best friends." LOL! It might seem silly, but so far the people I had claimed to be "best friends" with all turned their back on me and betrayed me one way or the other. Only one exception, but that's cause we gradually drifted. So next time, if you're a close friend of mines and I don't claim that you're my best friend, please don't take it to heart. I care, so just know deep down that we have a good bond in our hearts.

I love you?

Just came outta the shower, and my thinking caps are running a mile a minute. LOL!

He says "I love you" and expects a "I love you too" from you.

If this scenario happened to you, raise your hand. If he really did love you, he wouldn't need you to say it back to him. This is because he feels insecure about himself. He doesn't need reassurance if he really loved you. Sometimes it even means that he isn't truly there for you. He's there for just the words. If he did loved you, he wouldn't done something about that to show you that he loves you. As the saying action speaks louder than words. Someone can say they love you, but their heart may mean something else otherwise. Time has changed and generations have changed. People these days really don't know the meaning of love anymore. Many people, including myself, throw the word love around so easily. It's like the word 'bitch' and 'fuck' is in everyday language. If loving someone is so easy, then it wouldn't have to take some people lifetimes to find the person that they truly love.

I see young kids in sixth grade saying "I love you" to the ones they like. How do I know that it's like and not love? It's because 2 months later, they're already broken up. Little kids don't understand what love is. Even me whose in college, I still haven't figured out what love means.

Just a bit uninspired.

So I'm just sitting here thinking of what to write on my blog, but I can't come up with anything inspirational to write. All I can say right now is that history class be killin' me right now. ): Oh nos...It's time to get my act together.

HEHEH ♥

"If the guy you’re dating doesn’t seem to be completely into you, or you feel the need to start ‘figuring him out,’ please consider the glorious thought that he might just not be that into you. And then free yourself to go find someone that is. "

Story of my life! LOL

RING POWER!!

Jean jackets are back?

Uhh...awkward much?

Today of all days, I ran into a bunch of people. Is it my luck or what? I should've bought a scratcher. HAHA Anyways, first I bumped into my ex-supervisor at CVS. I said hi and stuff and said I'd come visit. ROFL! We'll see about that. Then, I saw 3 of my Chinese school teachers at Costco. That's so strange. I don't know if they remember me, let's hope not because I sorta just walked by as if I didn't see them. Awkward? Yeah very because it was the teachers I didn't like very much. LOL! Let's say I was very talkative in class yet I got good grades. I don't know where that puts me. :P Lastly, 2 friends from high school called me out at Target. Well to be honest, I only consider one of them to be my friend. The other...let's say she's just an acquaintance. I don't know why I felt so weird when they called me out. I was like Uhhh...hi. HAHA! The one person I considered a friend used to be really close with me but we drifted cuz we had different groups of friends. Sometimes, I miss talking and hanging out with her. Now, we're just too busy doing our own thing to hang out. So sad. Oh wells...today's just a very awkward day.

Day Ten: How you felt about 2010 and what you expect in 2011.

I felt the 2010 was a calm year compared to 2009. I was almost drama free and less boy trouble. Everything just went by smoothly and many things happened unexpectedly which made me happy and surprised. What do I expect in 2011? Nothing. Why? Because I don't want to expect anything and then get disappointments. The more expectations, the greater disappointments.

Day Nine: Did you stay true to your 2010 New Years Resolution?

ROFL! So I looked back at my journal entries and I realized I did jot a few resolutions, in which, I couldn't exceed any of them. One is to cut down on the cussing (still cussing), stop fighting with my brother (still argue here and there), do more house chores (haven't done much), keep room clean (always messy), etc.. YEAH so that's why I don't really like to do Resolutions cuz usually by the end of the year I don't even remember I had them. LMFAO!

Day Eight: Your greatest low of this year, and have you learned anything from it?

Umm...I didn't have any lows to the point where I'm like crying seriously. I'm thinking about 2010 though since 2011 barely started. I was supposed to finish this last year but I lagged. LOL! Anyways, if I had to pick on then it'd be when "us" ended. It's okay though cuz I'm fine, but sometimes I'll think about it here and there. It was a mutual ending though. I'm glad we ended in good terms but things would've been better if other things happened. It's okay because it's all over now and I've moved on.

Day Seven: An event that impacted your year.

My high school graduation! I finally graduated from high school and now I'm in college being an independent student...kinda. LOL! It had definitely came and went. I can still remember my first day in high school freshman year. I was really nervous and scared. But overall I was very excited to start new and make new friends because I had very horrible drama in middle school. I've made friends, I've lost friends. I became more confident, and more happy. I got my first kiss and I've gotten my heart broken. But it's okay because it was a process of learning. I was learning more about myself and what kind of person I am. I was getting to know myself better and to be a better person. The four years in high school has really taught me many lessons. If I would be given the chance to relive high school, I would, but then again I wouldn't because that's how I learned the things I've learned and if I went back to redo those things, I wouldn't have made the mistakes I've made. (If that makes sense...LOL!)

Day Six: A new lesson you learned this year.

I can't remember. D:

Too adorable!!

Songs and memories

I hate when a song on my playlist comes on and it brings back a memory of a particular someone. A lot of songs are still in my playlist that reminds me of different people. Some not so vivid memories, some makes it feel like it just happened yesterday. I need lots of new songs to replace the old ones. I don't miss the person, but I miss the memory and the concept of being with the person.

Day Five: Did you change yourself this year at all?

Umm...this year just started. So I'm going to include 2010, too. Yes I definitely did changed. I used to be really shy in class. I wouldn't open up to people I don't really know. But since senior year of high school, I just talk to random or smile to random people. It might sound weird, but I think it's absolutely fine. I remember that someon once told me that if my smile can brighten up one person's day, then I've accomplished what I wanted to do. I am more open now and I don't care about how people see me anymore. I may be obnoxious or loud, but I'm having fun so who cares. I've gotten a lot more confident of myself and I've learned to love myself more. There will be times where I feel I'm not good enough, but I know when to stop and not dwell on it. I think that's all that I've changed about myself. Oh another thing, I don't expect too much anymore especially when it comes to boys. Cuz sometimes the more your expect, the greater the disappointments. Sadly, I had to learn it the hard way. Regardless, at least I learned it sooner than never.

I'm back...kinda (:

School has taken up my time. Even though I only go to school for 2 hours, the rest of the time I go out and do homework. I can't believe I'm working so hard, but I still don't get it. I definitely hate history with a passion. D: Anyways, there's really nothing to update about. Nothing too interesting. Oh uhh I bumped my ear the other day and it was right on my piercing and it started to bleed. Now it hurts sooo much. ): It's taking forever to heal and I really want to get a haircut then dye my hair, but no I don't want to cuz of my new piercing. Life has been mellow. Oh I did my nails yesterday and I liked it. I practically spent all day doing it. I really need to go shopping cuz I want to buy some stuff, but I don't have much money cuz I've been eating out a lot with my friends. I know I am not a morning person. I'm nocturnal. It's 1:18 am and I don't even feel sleepy. Well, I am going to do some reading and then sleep. And until next time...ADIOS! :D

I wanna wear a skirt now.

Day Four: A person that impacted your year.

No one really.

MIA ?

I've been MIA for a week already. LOL! So Winter class just started this week. And I have an 8 AM class. That means I got to wake up at 6 AM. FML! I am so not used to this schedule and sleeping at 11 PM is even harder. I am trying to get used to it though. Staying in class for 2 hours straight is even harder, but I'm not going to complain because at least I got a class. I know a lot of people who weren't able to get Winter classes this year so yup. I was pretty lucky because first I wasn't able to get any class to getting on the waitlist as the last person to officially getting the class. HAHA! I spent about 100 bucks just for one class. GG me! I'm waiting for my financial aid money to come in. I've been eating out this whole week and the result is me being poor. ): Oh noooo...

Bundle up!

I miss wearing shorts!

Oogie Boogie!

Everyone, meet Oogie Boogie! He is a Jack Russell Terrier and extremely adorable and energetic. I was playing with him today and he definitely outplayed me. HAHA! He's only 3 months old so he's still a baby. I think this dog was the first dog I fell in love with since helping at the animal shelter. I heard it whining when I was leaving. ): I wished I could've given him a home, but let's hope he finds a loving home soon!

Volunteering!

Well I've been volunteering since sophomore year of high school. I don't know what's the deal, but I really enjoy helping others. It never feels like a burden or a chore to me. In high school, I joined various clubs just so I can go volunteer at different places. I guess it's just a passion of mines. So the summer after I graduated high school, I thought to myself where can I volunteer and spend my time at. Then, I thought about my local animal shelter. I remembered I wanted to volunteer at the shelter in high school already, but they didn't accept people under 18 so I couldn't do much about that. So the one thing that was on top of my summer to do list was to volunteer at an animal shelter. I finally did that in the middle of my summer. And believe me, that was the best decision that I've made in my whole entire life. I'm not even kidding you. It may seem pretty cliche if I said I love animals, but I really do. No joke! I always wanted a dog for as long as I can remember. So volunteering at the animal shelter was a plus for me since I can't have a dog of my own. Why? There are just various reasons. One being my parents are allergic to animal hair. Two, I have younger siblings so it's a big responsibility to add on. Three, there's just not enough room in the house for an extra animal that needs caring for. Fourth, it's going to be like raising a kid which uses a lot of money and we don't have that budget to do so. So all these problems are the reasons why I can't have a dog of my own. That's why I made a promise to myself that when I'm able to support myself, I'm going to get my own apartment and my own dog.


However, I've realized that helping out at the animal shelter has expanded my love for dogs. It seems harder each time when I meet a new dog and bond with that dog in just a few minutes, I just grow so attached to them. Maybe I'm just attached to dogs in general. I really wish I can take them home with me, but I can't at all. I'm happy that when I come back the next time they're not there anymore because they went to a loving home, but at the same time I feel sad because I won't be seeing them anymore. It's such a bittersweet moment! I think the longer I'm there, the harder it'll get for me. I can't believe I've been helping out at the shelter for half a year already. Time sure flies by fairly quickly!

2010 is history now.

2010: in the beginning

1. Where did you go on new years? At home.
2. Did you kiss anyone on new years? Nope...

2010: all about you

1. did you change at all this year?: Yes I did. LOLL
2. did you dye your hair?: Of course
3. did you get your hair cut?: Yup
4. did you change your style?: Yeah I guess
5. were you in school?: Yeahh
6. did you get good grades?: Alright.
7. did you have a job?: Yup yup
8. did you drive?: Most definitely!
9. did you move at all? Nahh
10. did you go on any vacations?: Uhh nope. 
11. did you leave the country at all?: Nahh

 2010: your love life

1. did you break up with anyone? Uh nope.
2. did you meet anyone special?: Yeah I guess.

2010: friends and enemies

1. did you meet any new friends this year?: Mostdef!
2. did any of your friendships end?: Yeah :/
3. did you dislike anyone?: HAHA yupp
4. did you make any new enemies? I don't know. Hopefully no?
5. did you grow apart from anyone? Yupp
6. did you have any regrets when it comes to your friendships?: I'm good. 
7. what are you thinking about? I don't know.
8. do you hate your ex? Nahh
9. how did you feel when you woke up today? Sick D:
10. are you good at hiding your feelings? Most of the time.
11. could you ever be friends with someone that broke your heart? I don't know. I haven't done it yet.
12. if you could change your eye color would you? Hazel!
13. who did you last get into a big argument with? I can't remember.
14. have you ever had a big fight with a best friend? Yeah and the result is ex best friend.
15. do you like to have long hair or short hair? Long!
16. are you over the age of 25? Nahh
17. how do you currently make your money? My job!
18. do you want to get married & have children one day? We'll see in the future.
19. have you kissed anyone in the last 4 hours? Nahh...
20. how many texts are in your inbox? I don't know. ALOT!
21. has someone of the opposite sex ever told you they loved you? Yeahh!
22. who was your last text message from? Ebony!
23. who was the last person you rode in a car with? Michael!
24. when was the last time you cried really, really hard? I don't remember.
25. who took your profile picture? Camera timer. LOL
26. would you rather smile over a lie or cry over the truth? cry over the truth.
27. what’s on your bedroom floor right now? Bags of clothers, boxes, clothes, purses.
28. do you trust people too easily? Not even close...sorry!
29. have you ever cut class? Yes I have. 
30. have you ever liked someone a lot older than you? Yupp..like 5 years. LOL
31. how many people are you texting? Uno
32. will you be in bed within twenty minutes? Nope too early.
33. what is the last non-alcoholic beverage you had? Apple cider (:
34. this year have you ever been heartbroken? Nope, I wouldn't call it a heartbreak.
35. was this year the best one yet? It was better than the previous year.

New Year's resolutions?

I'm not going to make any resolutions this year. I don't think I made any last year. I think I only made about 2 and I didn't keep up with it. I know that whenever I make resolutions in the previous years, I never kept up with it.And plus if I don't make any resolutions, there won't be any burden for me to want to finish things. So I'm just going to do whatever comes my way.

2011 here we come! :D

HAPPY NEW YEARS! :D