2. How have you changed in the past 2 years?

Hmm...let's see, I learned who my true friends were. I learned to never trust people so easily. Best friends don't exist anymore. I know some people still believe in it but not me anymore. It sucks cause it's so hard to trust people. Well lastly, I learned that some people will always hate no matter what. Most importantly though, is learning to have self confidence and love yourself even if no one else does. (:

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"Are you gay?"

I don't know if anyone has ever encountered such a problem like this: So you meet someone, and he seems pretty cool and stuff, but in the back of your mind you have a burning question...is he gay? Well, so I've actually came across this a couple of times. No joke. I feel like it's actually offensive to ask a straight guy "are you gay?" Don't you think so? I don't know maybe it's just me then. So anyways, I met this guy that I guess you can call him a friend or maybe aquaintance? I don't know, I'll consider him a friend cuz he seem pretty darn nice. He's always the first person that smiles at me every morning. LOL! Anyways, so I don't know what it is about him that makes me think that he's not so straight. So I was just looking at his tumbr that had "ex-gf" and "I miss him." So the next thing I came up with is he's bi. I don't have anything against gays or bis or anything of that sort. In fact, I support it strongly because I have a few gay friends and they're awesome. HAHA! Honestly, I'm just a pussy to ask him staight up, but curiosity kills the cat. Help? LOL I don't think I'm interested in him right? O.o

WORD!!!

Just because someone flirts with you, doesn’t mean they like you.
Just because someone likes you, doesn’t mean they want to date you.
Just because someone dates you, doesn’t mean they love you.
Just because someone loves you, doesn’t mean they won’t hurt you.

1. Weird things you do when you’re alone

1. Sing loudly to my playlist even if I don't know the lyrics, I go la la la. (:
2. Skip around.
3. Eat everything with my fingers. LOL!
4. Pick my nose.
5. Talk to myself.

How cuteee

30 random things challenge.

1.   Weird things you do when you’re alone

2.    How have you changed in the past 2 years?

3.    What kind of person attracts you

4.    What you wear to bed

5.    5 things that irritate you about the sex/same sex

6.    The person you like and why you like them 

7.    Your opinion on cheating on people

8.    Something you’re currently worrying about

9.    Your last kiss

10.  Your views on drugs and alcohol

11.  Your current relationship, if single discuss how single life is

12.  Things you want to say to an ex

13.  A date you would love to go on

14.  Something disgusting you do

15.  The best thing to happen to you this week

16.  3 things you are proud of about your personality

17.  Things that make you scared

18.  Disrespecting parents

19.  Something that never fails to make you feel better

20.  The last argument you had

21.  Something you can’t seem to get over

22.  10 things about you people don’t really expect

23.  Something you always think “what if..” about

24.  Things you want to say to 5 different people

25.  10 ways to win your heart

26.  Your religious beliefs

27.  Talk about your siblings

28.  The month you were happiest this year and why

29.  A picture of yourself

30.  What changed this month and what you hope will happen next month

Trust issues.

After seeing people get hurt, and myself being in a vulnerable position, I'm seriously lacking a lot of trust. I really don't trust anyone at all. It's hard cuz knowing that there were people in the past that were your BFFs for one second can turn around and betray you the next second. I have to admit I do have trust issues. Even when it comes to relationships, I can't trust guys. It's the whole I-don't-know-if-what-you're-saying-means-what-you're-thinking kinda thing. Sometimes, I honestly feel bad especially when people would tell me that they trust me, but I have this wall in between where it gives me doubts and puts myself in a position where I am wary of what they say. When guys tell me "trust me" it gives me the benefit of the doubt to not believe them. Why? It's very simple. Words cannot mean anything. I need someone to show me what trust is. Just by saying something doesn't make it easier to trust someone. Sometimes, I let my guard down so easily that at the end of the day, I'm the one getting hurt. I don't want that. That's why this 'wall' gets thicker and thicker each time.

I hate putting myself in a position where I've associated with someone for awhile and we can talk about anything and do things together, but I'm unable to be like "we're best friends." Although, some people consider me as their best friends, I can't make myself to agree with them because I feel like as soon as I say it, then things aren't going to be the same and I end up getting hurt. When someone asks if me and so & so are best friends, I don't know how to answer especially when the person is right next to me. I don't want to lie and be like 'yeah of course we're best friends," but at the same time I don't want to say no either because that will definitely hurt the other's feelings. I put myself in such a bad position that all I can do is change the subject or whatever I can to avoid such question.

By avoiding the question doesn't mean I don't value one person's friendship. I definitely take it to heart and I care about the person. It's just that maybe I was cursed with the word "best friends." LOL! It might seem silly, but so far the people I had claimed to be "best friends" with all turned their back on me and betrayed me one way or the other. Only one exception, but that's cause we gradually drifted. So next time, if you're a close friend of mines and I don't claim that you're my best friend, please don't take it to heart. I care, so just know deep down that we have a good bond in our hearts.

I love you?

Just came outta the shower, and my thinking caps are running a mile a minute. LOL!

He says "I love you" and expects a "I love you too" from you.

If this scenario happened to you, raise your hand. If he really did love you, he wouldn't need you to say it back to him. This is because he feels insecure about himself. He doesn't need reassurance if he really loved you. Sometimes it even means that he isn't truly there for you. He's there for just the words. If he did loved you, he wouldn't done something about that to show you that he loves you. As the saying action speaks louder than words. Someone can say they love you, but their heart may mean something else otherwise. Time has changed and generations have changed. People these days really don't know the meaning of love anymore. Many people, including myself, throw the word love around so easily. It's like the word 'bitch' and 'fuck' is in everyday language. If loving someone is so easy, then it wouldn't have to take some people lifetimes to find the person that they truly love.

I see young kids in sixth grade saying "I love you" to the ones they like. How do I know that it's like and not love? It's because 2 months later, they're already broken up. Little kids don't understand what love is. Even me whose in college, I still haven't figured out what love means.

Just a bit uninspired.

So I'm just sitting here thinking of what to write on my blog, but I can't come up with anything inspirational to write. All I can say right now is that history class be killin' me right now. ): Oh nos...It's time to get my act together.

HEHEH ♥

"If the guy you’re dating doesn’t seem to be completely into you, or you feel the need to start ‘figuring him out,’ please consider the glorious thought that he might just not be that into you. And then free yourself to go find someone that is. "

Story of my life! LOL

RING POWER!!

Jean jackets are back?

Uhh...awkward much?

Today of all days, I ran into a bunch of people. Is it my luck or what? I should've bought a scratcher. HAHA Anyways, first I bumped into my ex-supervisor at CVS. I said hi and stuff and said I'd come visit. ROFL! We'll see about that. Then, I saw 3 of my Chinese school teachers at Costco. That's so strange. I don't know if they remember me, let's hope not because I sorta just walked by as if I didn't see them. Awkward? Yeah very because it was the teachers I didn't like very much. LOL! Let's say I was very talkative in class yet I got good grades. I don't know where that puts me. :P Lastly, 2 friends from high school called me out at Target. Well to be honest, I only consider one of them to be my friend. The other...let's say she's just an acquaintance. I don't know why I felt so weird when they called me out. I was like Uhhh...hi. HAHA! The one person I considered a friend used to be really close with me but we drifted cuz we had different groups of friends. Sometimes, I miss talking and hanging out with her. Now, we're just too busy doing our own thing to hang out. So sad. Oh wells...today's just a very awkward day.

Day Ten: How you felt about 2010 and what you expect in 2011.

I felt the 2010 was a calm year compared to 2009. I was almost drama free and less boy trouble. Everything just went by smoothly and many things happened unexpectedly which made me happy and surprised. What do I expect in 2011? Nothing. Why? Because I don't want to expect anything and then get disappointments. The more expectations, the greater disappointments.

Day Nine: Did you stay true to your 2010 New Years Resolution?

ROFL! So I looked back at my journal entries and I realized I did jot a few resolutions, in which, I couldn't exceed any of them. One is to cut down on the cussing (still cussing), stop fighting with my brother (still argue here and there), do more house chores (haven't done much), keep room clean (always messy), etc.. YEAH so that's why I don't really like to do Resolutions cuz usually by the end of the year I don't even remember I had them. LMFAO!

Day Eight: Your greatest low of this year, and have you learned anything from it?

Umm...I didn't have any lows to the point where I'm like crying seriously. I'm thinking about 2010 though since 2011 barely started. I was supposed to finish this last year but I lagged. LOL! Anyways, if I had to pick on then it'd be when "us" ended. It's okay though cuz I'm fine, but sometimes I'll think about it here and there. It was a mutual ending though. I'm glad we ended in good terms but things would've been better if other things happened. It's okay because it's all over now and I've moved on.

Day Seven: An event that impacted your year.

My high school graduation! I finally graduated from high school and now I'm in college being an independent student...kinda. LOL! It had definitely came and went. I can still remember my first day in high school freshman year. I was really nervous and scared. But overall I was very excited to start new and make new friends because I had very horrible drama in middle school. I've made friends, I've lost friends. I became more confident, and more happy. I got my first kiss and I've gotten my heart broken. But it's okay because it was a process of learning. I was learning more about myself and what kind of person I am. I was getting to know myself better and to be a better person. The four years in high school has really taught me many lessons. If I would be given the chance to relive high school, I would, but then again I wouldn't because that's how I learned the things I've learned and if I went back to redo those things, I wouldn't have made the mistakes I've made. (If that makes sense...LOL!)

Day Six: A new lesson you learned this year.

I can't remember. D:

Too adorable!!

Songs and memories

I hate when a song on my playlist comes on and it brings back a memory of a particular someone. A lot of songs are still in my playlist that reminds me of different people. Some not so vivid memories, some makes it feel like it just happened yesterday. I need lots of new songs to replace the old ones. I don't miss the person, but I miss the memory and the concept of being with the person.

Day Five: Did you change yourself this year at all?

Umm...this year just started. So I'm going to include 2010, too. Yes I definitely did changed. I used to be really shy in class. I wouldn't open up to people I don't really know. But since senior year of high school, I just talk to random or smile to random people. It might sound weird, but I think it's absolutely fine. I remember that someon once told me that if my smile can brighten up one person's day, then I've accomplished what I wanted to do. I am more open now and I don't care about how people see me anymore. I may be obnoxious or loud, but I'm having fun so who cares. I've gotten a lot more confident of myself and I've learned to love myself more. There will be times where I feel I'm not good enough, but I know when to stop and not dwell on it. I think that's all that I've changed about myself. Oh another thing, I don't expect too much anymore especially when it comes to boys. Cuz sometimes the more your expect, the greater the disappointments. Sadly, I had to learn it the hard way. Regardless, at least I learned it sooner than never.

I'm back...kinda (:

School has taken up my time. Even though I only go to school for 2 hours, the rest of the time I go out and do homework. I can't believe I'm working so hard, but I still don't get it. I definitely hate history with a passion. D: Anyways, there's really nothing to update about. Nothing too interesting. Oh uhh I bumped my ear the other day and it was right on my piercing and it started to bleed. Now it hurts sooo much. ): It's taking forever to heal and I really want to get a haircut then dye my hair, but no I don't want to cuz of my new piercing. Life has been mellow. Oh I did my nails yesterday and I liked it. I practically spent all day doing it. I really need to go shopping cuz I want to buy some stuff, but I don't have much money cuz I've been eating out a lot with my friends. I know I am not a morning person. I'm nocturnal. It's 1:18 am and I don't even feel sleepy. Well, I am going to do some reading and then sleep. And until next time...ADIOS! :D

I wanna wear a skirt now.

Day Four: A person that impacted your year.

No one really.

MIA ?

I've been MIA for a week already. LOL! So Winter class just started this week. And I have an 8 AM class. That means I got to wake up at 6 AM. FML! I am so not used to this schedule and sleeping at 11 PM is even harder. I am trying to get used to it though. Staying in class for 2 hours straight is even harder, but I'm not going to complain because at least I got a class. I know a lot of people who weren't able to get Winter classes this year so yup. I was pretty lucky because first I wasn't able to get any class to getting on the waitlist as the last person to officially getting the class. HAHA! I spent about 100 bucks just for one class. GG me! I'm waiting for my financial aid money to come in. I've been eating out this whole week and the result is me being poor. ): Oh noooo...

Bundle up!

I miss wearing shorts!

Oogie Boogie!

Everyone, meet Oogie Boogie! He is a Jack Russell Terrier and extremely adorable and energetic. I was playing with him today and he definitely outplayed me. HAHA! He's only 3 months old so he's still a baby. I think this dog was the first dog I fell in love with since helping at the animal shelter. I heard it whining when I was leaving. ): I wished I could've given him a home, but let's hope he finds a loving home soon!

Volunteering!

Well I've been volunteering since sophomore year of high school. I don't know what's the deal, but I really enjoy helping others. It never feels like a burden or a chore to me. In high school, I joined various clubs just so I can go volunteer at different places. I guess it's just a passion of mines. So the summer after I graduated high school, I thought to myself where can I volunteer and spend my time at. Then, I thought about my local animal shelter. I remembered I wanted to volunteer at the shelter in high school already, but they didn't accept people under 18 so I couldn't do much about that. So the one thing that was on top of my summer to do list was to volunteer at an animal shelter. I finally did that in the middle of my summer. And believe me, that was the best decision that I've made in my whole entire life. I'm not even kidding you. It may seem pretty cliche if I said I love animals, but I really do. No joke! I always wanted a dog for as long as I can remember. So volunteering at the animal shelter was a plus for me since I can't have a dog of my own. Why? There are just various reasons. One being my parents are allergic to animal hair. Two, I have younger siblings so it's a big responsibility to add on. Three, there's just not enough room in the house for an extra animal that needs caring for. Fourth, it's going to be like raising a kid which uses a lot of money and we don't have that budget to do so. So all these problems are the reasons why I can't have a dog of my own. That's why I made a promise to myself that when I'm able to support myself, I'm going to get my own apartment and my own dog.


However, I've realized that helping out at the animal shelter has expanded my love for dogs. It seems harder each time when I meet a new dog and bond with that dog in just a few minutes, I just grow so attached to them. Maybe I'm just attached to dogs in general. I really wish I can take them home with me, but I can't at all. I'm happy that when I come back the next time they're not there anymore because they went to a loving home, but at the same time I feel sad because I won't be seeing them anymore. It's such a bittersweet moment! I think the longer I'm there, the harder it'll get for me. I can't believe I've been helping out at the shelter for half a year already. Time sure flies by fairly quickly!

2010 is history now.

2010: in the beginning

1. Where did you go on new years? At home.
2. Did you kiss anyone on new years? Nope...

2010: all about you

1. did you change at all this year?: Yes I did. LOLL
2. did you dye your hair?: Of course
3. did you get your hair cut?: Yup
4. did you change your style?: Yeah I guess
5. were you in school?: Yeahh
6. did you get good grades?: Alright.
7. did you have a job?: Yup yup
8. did you drive?: Most definitely!
9. did you move at all? Nahh
10. did you go on any vacations?: Uhh nope. 
11. did you leave the country at all?: Nahh

 2010: your love life

1. did you break up with anyone? Uh nope.
2. did you meet anyone special?: Yeah I guess.

2010: friends and enemies

1. did you meet any new friends this year?: Mostdef!
2. did any of your friendships end?: Yeah :/
3. did you dislike anyone?: HAHA yupp
4. did you make any new enemies? I don't know. Hopefully no?
5. did you grow apart from anyone? Yupp
6. did you have any regrets when it comes to your friendships?: I'm good. 
7. what are you thinking about? I don't know.
8. do you hate your ex? Nahh
9. how did you feel when you woke up today? Sick D:
10. are you good at hiding your feelings? Most of the time.
11. could you ever be friends with someone that broke your heart? I don't know. I haven't done it yet.
12. if you could change your eye color would you? Hazel!
13. who did you last get into a big argument with? I can't remember.
14. have you ever had a big fight with a best friend? Yeah and the result is ex best friend.
15. do you like to have long hair or short hair? Long!
16. are you over the age of 25? Nahh
17. how do you currently make your money? My job!
18. do you want to get married & have children one day? We'll see in the future.
19. have you kissed anyone in the last 4 hours? Nahh...
20. how many texts are in your inbox? I don't know. ALOT!
21. has someone of the opposite sex ever told you they loved you? Yeahh!
22. who was your last text message from? Ebony!
23. who was the last person you rode in a car with? Michael!
24. when was the last time you cried really, really hard? I don't remember.
25. who took your profile picture? Camera timer. LOL
26. would you rather smile over a lie or cry over the truth? cry over the truth.
27. what’s on your bedroom floor right now? Bags of clothers, boxes, clothes, purses.
28. do you trust people too easily? Not even close...sorry!
29. have you ever cut class? Yes I have. 
30. have you ever liked someone a lot older than you? Yupp..like 5 years. LOL
31. how many people are you texting? Uno
32. will you be in bed within twenty minutes? Nope too early.
33. what is the last non-alcoholic beverage you had? Apple cider (:
34. this year have you ever been heartbroken? Nope, I wouldn't call it a heartbreak.
35. was this year the best one yet? It was better than the previous year.

New Year's resolutions?

I'm not going to make any resolutions this year. I don't think I made any last year. I think I only made about 2 and I didn't keep up with it. I know that whenever I make resolutions in the previous years, I never kept up with it.And plus if I don't make any resolutions, there won't be any burden for me to want to finish things. So I'm just going to do whatever comes my way.

2011 here we come! :D

HAPPY NEW YEARS! :D