All mixed up inside.

So I don't know what's up with me lately. I think I might just blame the weather and it's gloomy-ness. I feel so mixed up right now. I can't get my feelings straight. I feel so weird. Like one moment I would feel all bubbly inside and another moment I feel sad. In a way, it's like bopolar. I know I'm not on my period or anything so why am I feeling the way I do. I don't know what to do. I don't want to talk to anyone about it cuz well there's some things I don't want to jinx it. But well I just had to ruin it earlier. I feel so bummed out right now. Me and my big mouth. I knew I didn't want to talk about it cuz once I do talk about it, my mouth keeps running like a faucet. -__- I hate this. I knew I shouldn't tell anyone about it so that I can let things go with the flow, you know. But now that I blew it, I know things are done like it has happened before. I hate this feeling. I hate the feeling when someone can keep you on your toes and then the next second, you're nothing. UGH! Why can't I stop thinking about it now? I feel like I've ruined the chances. Gawd!
I don't know why I'm so honest these days. Like last night I told someone something that I knew I would not have told him before. I remember back in the days when I used to keep all my feelings to myself and not telling the person I liked how I felt about them. Ever since this year, I've actually been more open, maybe a bit too open, about my feelings. I'm not really sure if this is a good thing or not. I have definitely changed alot for the better. I'm not that shy anymore. I talk to strangers as if they're good friends of mines and I open up alot more. I feel like I should maybe take it a notch down, but I know if I did, I might not be where I am again. I don't know...we'll see.