Rantt

Today was the first day of semester 2. It seemed exactly the same and my schedule didn't change at all. I still have the same teachers, but one class was different( from gov to econ.) Anyways, I felt really tired. Like if I sit in my chair, I tend to like doze off. Not like sleep sleep cuz I wasn't really sleeping with my eyes closed. Yeah, scary right? LOL. I just wasn't listening in class overall. I felt like I got annoyed real easily. This is what happens when I'm really tired. D:

So the next thing I'm going to talk about may seem a bit weird, but it's me. I admit I can be weird at times. (: haha Well, when I was showering, my mind wandered and I started thinking. I don't have anything that's actually bothering me or anything. BUT when I think, there could be things that I dig in my brain and find something that was bothersome to me for a split second. D: I also have things that I don't like that I never mentioned or picked at the topic. Does that make sense? So yeah. I kinda don't want to elaborate on the subjects that I thought about cuz if I do, I might hurt people's feelings and it's really not that big of a deal and I don't want it to be either. I just never show the way I feel towards other people. I keep it in until something or someone ticks me off, then I begin to explode and that's not a pretty sight. :X There are certain stuff that are real sensitive to me and if I had a choice, I'd rather not talk/have contact with anything that is related to it. It is quite impossible, unless I move away from here. I know I don't like a lot of things, but I've grown to cope with it and just work with it or around it if I have to. Sometimes people just need to know where I'm coming from. Just because I think something is right doesn't mean you will think the same way. I laugh doesn't mean I don't get offended. (<--Yeah I'm still going to think about the subject. It's not going to disappear just like that. I'm not going to mention it to anyone, but it's still in my mind.) We are all hypocrites and judgemental. We're just human and we all make mistakes. I've mad horrible choices in the past, and I might still in the future and so will everyone else. The point is, try not to make the same mistake each time. However, I noticed I've been making the same mistake for the past 4/5 years. Thanks to my econ teacher, I realized what a sore loser I am and feel when I find out I trust the wrong people. (I'm not thinking about that game, but my life in general.) I always trust the wrong people. I'm not talking about the person from today, but it triggered a thought in my mind that came from it. So I've had those friends who were once important in my life, but became someone I did not want to associate with whatsoever. I trusted most of them to keep promises and my secrets safe within themselves. At the end, everything got blabbed out. Believe me, I actually have kept most people's secrets. I have this rule, if you lied to me and I find out, I'm never going to trust you again. Well the thing is, I always get betrayed one way or another and at the end, I build up a really thick wall. This is the reason of my laughs. This is the reason I don't open up as easily. I conceal things behind lies sometimes. The only exceptions are that if I'm around someone and I feel like I can do anything then that person has my trust. Seriously, not a lot of people have my trust. I can only say about 2/3 people who currently have my trust. I bent some rules for these people because at the end I know it's worth it. (: I just wish I don't have this barrier so I can open up to people easily cuz when people tell me their secrets, I have this bad feeling that they trust me, but I don't trust them at all. Sad, but I can't help it. It's me and I can't do much about it. AND DEFINITELY, I WILL NOT STOP LAUGHING REGARDLESS OF WHAT PEOPLE SAY. -.-