Fucken mothafucken shiet!

I don't know how to start. Is this what you call karma? I got no idea what kinda mess I got myself into. I think I shouldn't have lied in the first place. Now I'm going to feel like an idiot if "something" DOES happen. I swear I can just see it. And 98% of the time I'm right about what I think. I'm so serious. Each time I imagine an event happening, it honestly does happen in reality. I hate it so much. A is sad. B is gonna be mad when it B finds out. Gahh.. I know this won't make sense to anyone, but I just wanna rant like crazy. I feel like crying, but I can't. I feel like giving up, but I've already gone this far. I feel like just running away, but what good would it do? I've never felt so out of place in so long. I just hope drama won't follow. Really, I feel like I should straighten things out with A. I feel so unsuccessful. I shouldn't have done it. I already brought guilt with me since day 1. I hate placing guilt on myself, even if someone tells me it's not my fault. That's the way I am and I can't do a thing about it. What if this and what if that. If only I can find a solution. There's always a stupid problem after the other. I have a problem and I find a solution. Then another problem pops up and time to find a solution. It just never stops, does it? I just wish all this would be over already. It's not even a whole month, problem after problem pops up. I'm tired with this shiet. I just want it to be over so then it'll be time for summer. I really hate my situation. Why can't there be an easy way out? No, actually there is. Why don't I just back out? That's so much easier. So what's my problem? Why don't I want to back out? Maybe because I just want to be selfish this one time. But then I can't force something to be mines, if it was never mines right? I don't fucken know. I've always thought about friends before myself. I hardly even remembered when's the last time I thought about my own problems before going to help someone else. I'm serious when I say I am. And in this situation I feel like I've wound myself into my own trap. What did I do? Honestly, I shouldn't be selfish huh? I mean if I got tell A, would it feel like tossing a "ball" back and forth? B doesn't know that. If you understand what I'm talking about, I think you should give yourself a pat on the back cuz your good. Fuck, this shiet is making me fucken miserable.